sassymcgee's Diaryland Diary

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R.I.P Little Guys

The rest of the goldfishies have died.

We came into work this morning to find the final six floating lifelessly in the bowl.
The last survivors of the Great Fish Massacre of 2010...

So sad.

The funeral is today at 11:00am in the employee bathroom.

I have my suspicions that they MIGHT have been accidentally murdered by lack of food...
But I have no proof.

But I'm calling shenanigans.

9:47 a.m. - 2010-07-29

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Did I see the same movie!?

I don't get all the confusion.

I saw Inception and followed along with it quite easily. I guess people had trouble following it and were confused about the entire movie...

What?

Maybe it just comes down to the fact that it's too cerebral for some people and THAT'S why they didn't understand it.
Or they didn't pay attention...
Some people these days have the attention span of a gnat.
MAYBE people read TOO much into it, over-analyzed it to the point that it became a big fat mess.
Dunno.

Actually...

I'm surprised I didn't do that.
I DO tend to over-analyze EVERYTHING.

But I didn't this time.

And enjoyed a great movie.

Surprising.

9:43 a.m. - 2010-07-27

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Heartbroken Geek

I hate my low-paying job.

I hate it because I couldn't afford to go to Comic-Con and see my boyfriend Joshua Jackson and the rest of the cast of Fringe.
I LOVE that show.

Stupid job.

Next year I am SOOO going. I don't care if I have to stop drinking to save all year I am GOING!

Stupid job.

1:58 p.m. - 2010-07-26

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She works hard for the money. Sooo hard for it honey.

Heigh Ho...

Heigh ho...

It's off to work I go.
I'm going to bitch and moan and cry all day.
Heigh ho.
Heigh ho...Heigh ho...heigh ho.

I have to work all weekend.
Freshman orientation.
A new set of kiddies who will stand around looking lost instead of asking for something.

I'm SOOOO excited.

Yippee.

1:12 p.m. - 2010-07-23

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Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

I think the heat is melting my brain today.

I cannot think of what I wanted to write about!!
Which I knew a mere thirty minutes ago.
It could be symptomatic of my increasing age...
But I'm not going to consider THAT option today.

So unfortunately you get this lame-ass entry.

What?

They can't ALL be winners.

11:09 a.m. - 2010-07-22

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WE'VE GOT SPIRIT YES WE DO!

Yesterday I received a text telling me that cheerleading practice for us seniors starts at eight a.m. tomorrow.

Needless to say I didn't make it.
I DO have to work.
My life is MORE than cheering for crying out loud.

If I would've known where it WAS I might have actually shown up...
And probably would have made the team because I am just that awesome a dancer.
Plus I've been told that I have a big mouth...

It's true.

I should've texted back and said I quit.
THEN the girl the text WAS for would've been OUT and would've been wondering what the hell was going on...

Then there would've been crying and shouting...

Good times.

11:17 a.m. - 2010-07-20

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We all scream for ice cream!!!

I saw an odd thing today.

I witnessed someone CRYING at an ice cream place.
NOBODY'S sad when they have ice cream in their hands!

It's impossible.
Try it.
She obviously hadn't started eating it.
OR
It was the stupid dude who was with her's fault.
Maybe he wouldn't shut up so she could eat the icy treat and it MELTED.

Making her sad.

Men and all their talking...

Blah blah blah.

7:11 p.m. - 2010-07-18

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MURDERERS!!!!!

Hmmmmmm

When you try to use goldfish as a centerpiece, isn't it considered fish
murder when you place said fishies on tables where they're sitting outside in 94 degree heat?

I thought so.

OR when after they were saved from said boiling only to be thrown out of their larger vase by a crazy woman unable to make SLOW turns...

Again, MURDER.

Luckily all but a few managed to fight for their tiny lives and live at least another day.

So luckily the Great Fish Massacre of 2010 had a LOT less victims than originally thought.

No thanks to my bosses.

Silly fish killing bosses.

8:44 p.m. - 2010-07-17

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You can take your VIEW and shove it where the sun doesn't shine!

Ok.

I need to rant.

I accidentally started watching The View yesterday and frankly Elizabeth Hasselbeck really needs to shut the hell up.
I hope I never meet that woman in person because I have a feeling I would punch her in the face.

Seriously.

She was talking about Levi and that Palin chick getting engaged and how HORRIBLE it must be for the Palins because of all the stupid crap he's done...

Blah blah BLAH!

Now don't get me wrong, I think Levi is a doofus.
But he's a YOUNG doofus.
I think people forget most of the time that young-ins in the media spotlight are just that: young.
I wonder how "smart" Elizabeth would have looked if some of her life choices had been seen by the world over and over and over again.

Stupid pious ass.

I know that I'm glad some of MY choices/actions weren't broadcast across the globe...

Because I TOO was a doofus.

I know...

You're stunned.

10:48 a.m. - 2010-07-15

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I AM a Toys R Us Kid!

Am I EVER going to feel like an adult?

Because I still say things like "When I grow up...".
And I'm not kidding when I say them.
Okay I AM kidding a BIT when I say it.

But is this feeling the norm?
Does ANYONE ever feel like an adult?
Or am I a freak since I don't have babies and a mortgage?

Probably.

But I think I would STILL feel this way.
Well, until I have some weird, unexplained ache.

Then I'll realize how old I really am.

Stupid body.

11:36 a.m. - 2010-07-14

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Upside down. And. Round and Round.

I think the paint fumes are affecting my brain.

Lately I feel like I am in a fog, like a walking zombie.

Except I don't crave brains.

My life is turning inside out with all the painting, packing, hauling boxes, the running back and forth between two houses...

Cripes.

I don't feel like I have a home right now between all the chaos of two places.
I sleep at one place and spend all my time at the other getting it ready.

I'm exhausted.

And buggin'.

10:11 a.m. - 2010-07-13

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Not bad meaning bad , but bad meaning GOOD! There it is.

I am going to bring back "buggin'".

I was listening to Run DMC at work the other day and decided that word needs to be resurrected.
My co-worker decided that HE'S going to bring back the term "rad".
That just led to a discussion of the movie of the same name...
Which wasn't that rad.

I think I might just have to bring back a LOT of old slang.

Wouldn't that be DOPE?

Word.

12:00 p.m. - 2010-07-12

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A Questionable Death

My sock died today.

While I was working all of a sudden my right sock slid down my leg and laid around my ankle like a wet noodle.
Question is why didn't the left one die? It's as old as the right.

I call shenanigans.

Maybe it committed suicide.
It WAS looking pretty sad...

Or maybe it was sick for a long time.
It was showing signs of wear and seemed pretty weak.

It's too late now.
We may never know.

4:18 p.m. - 2010-07-10

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I now know why red is associated with HELL!

YESSSSSS!

One room painted, only about 100 more rooms to go.
I've never realized that I HATE red walls.
From now on, any red walls I encounter are going to cause me to spontaneously snarl.
And MAYBE swear.
And I'm not going to even comment on the sloppiness of the red paint job.

Grrr.

3:58 p.m. - 2010-07-09

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Demon Children, Idiot Parents.

What.
The.
HELL!!!?

I was watching Good Morning America yesterday when this story came on about a grandmother who spanked her grandchildren for misbehaving and not listening to her.

That's not the bad part.

What annoyed me was the parents. They were angry that the grandmother DARED to raise a hand to their kids.

That's understandable...I guess.

But the effing annoying part is that they said the kids were "traumatized" and now the entire family is in counseling.

Really!!??

Traumatized?

MAYBE they should be a BIT more strict and rigid.
Then MAYBE they won't go somewhere and be little a'holes.

Not everything in life is fair and happy so stop teaching children the opposite!
What parents need to do is top trying to reason with kids...
They are NOT adults.
You are not their buddy.
You're their parents...

Act like it.

9:53 a.m. - 2010-07-07

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Movin' on up! To the East side...

Well the craziness has started.

I am in the process of moving all my crapola to another location.

And I'm thinking about leaving most of it behind.

Well mostly because I'm lazy and don't want to pack up all this crap.

Seriously, where did all of this stuff come FROM?
I think I could pretty much open my own store with all the stuff I own.
And we're not EVEN going to talk about my sister's possessions.

Only a month of this bull.

Yeah.
I'm soooo excited.

Crap.

11:17 a.m. - 2010-07-05

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I'm a LITTLE bit crazy...I know. It's a shocker.

I am such a freak.

I cannot eat Skittles(or M&Ms, Lifesavers...you get my point) without organizing them into flavors/colors before eating them.

I TOLD you I was a freak.

I pore them into my hand and first I eat the uneven colors to even out the color ratio. THEN I eat them individually from least to most favorite to make sure that I have the best flavor/color for last.

And I've tried to just eat them at random...

But that's just wrong.
On SOOOO many levels.

I need help.

7:38 p.m. - 2010-07-03

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Hey Baby, My pants would look GREAT on your floor. Blech.

Oh drunkeness.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

I had a couple of adult beverages last night with a couple of friends last night.
And I think I'm about over going to a bar to drink.
I realize the cheesy pick-up lines and shots really don't hold any appeal to me anymore.
I just want to grab all the girls in the bar into a huddle and tell them to cover up their lady parts, to NEVER take their eyes off their beverage if they want to remember ANYTHING, that some doof buying them a drink doesn't mean they HAVE to EVEN talk to him, that there IS a reason that some alcohol is called rockgut, and frankly that if you act like a ho, then guys will see you as a ho.

Basically just common sense.

I think if I want to socialize I'll stick to just hanging out with my friends and family.

Then the only cheese I would have to deal with would be on a sandwich.

2:15 p.m. - 2010-06-27

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A VERY unladylike dilemma

Ugh.

Last night was HORRIBLE!!
I came home from euchre and went to bed only to wake up and practically have to run to the bathroom.
That was pretty much the rest of the night.
And WHY do I feel so bad about calling off work!?
It's not like I could've worked with everything going through my body at anytime without any warning...

Luckily I haven't had to sprint to the bathroom in awhile.
Maybe I'll even try to eat something solid.

I am SUCH a risk taker.

Pfffft.

5:13 p.m. - 2010-06-24

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I feel like Rip Van Friggin' Winkle

I'm supposed to go walking after work today.

That is SOOO not going to happen.

I am sleepy.
And will probably be this way all day.

I know this because I've been up for three hours, walked to work(which takes about 20 minutes), had plenty of caffeine and I know that I could STILL go back to sleep if I was allowed.

Definitely NOT the norm.

Stinking job.

9:41 a.m. - 2010-06-23

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Birthday...WHAT birthday!?

My birthday was last week.

And I had nothing planned.
Which is frickin' WEIRD!

I love my birthday. It's truly MY day and I USED to treat it as such.
I didn't work.
I threw parties.
I went on road trips.
Hell, sometimes my birthDAY turned into birthWEEK.

This year?

NOTHING.
I even worked literally ALL DAY.

Is it because I'm almost forty?
And I feel like I need to do MORE with my existence?

I'm afraid the answer to those questions is YES.

Stupid getting older.

10:04 a.m. - 2010-06-21

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Why are women shopping at Whores R Us!?

Okay ladies.

It's time for another talk.

So sit down, grab an adult beverage and listen to this harsh reality.

These god-forsaken, crazy-ass high, stiletto heels make you look like whores.

Sorry.
But it's true.

There really isn't ONE redeeming quality about seven-inch heels.

Unless you WANT to be a whore.

Then...good job.

Honestly...
Are they comfortable?
Easy to walk in?
Because, really, it looks like you're trying not fall over every time you take a step.
Do you think they make you look sexy?
Only if you're lying down with your legs in the air and not walking.

The truth sucks, I know.

Oh and if by chance someone tries to attack you, these shoes make it SO much easier to catch you.

I GUESS you could try to fall and stab the attacker with your shoe...

But only if you don't knock yourself out from the high fall caused by your shoes in the first place.

Remember these shoes were designed by MEN because they have NO IDEA what it's like in these monsters.

So get out of Crazytown and go back to shoes you can walk in for the love of GOD!!!!

Seriously.

12:36 p.m. - 2010-06-20

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Technology for iDiots

I saw on TV a man from Texas pitch a tent to wait in line for the new iPhone...

It doesn't come out until next WEEK.
Next week people!!!

Shouldn't someone have told him that there is a 90% chance the new phone won't work correctly?
It IS an iPhone...

Silly men.

1:53 p.m. - 2010-06-19

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Hello. My name is Gigantor. You killed my brother. Prepare to die.

Remember last month a tiny little moth nearly scared me to death?

Well his gigantic brother tried to eat me the other night.
It was HUGE!!!
I'm not kidding when I say that it's body was as thick as my pinky finger and was about an inch long ON THE WALL.
It made noises as it hit the light.

Blech.

Needless to say we couldn't kill it...

It would've been too squishy.
And I wasn't in the mood to vomit.

So after trying to entice it out the window(and lots of girl-like screams) with no success, we left the light on, shut our bedroom doors and went to bed.
When I woke up, I decided that Gigantor had to leave.
I grabbed a Rubbermaid container and lid and opened the door.
Did I forget to mention that he was exceptional at hiding?
After using the broom to find him, I coaxed the "little"
bastard down low enough to trap him in the container.
I proceeded to open the back door and let him out.

My first thought after that worked?

Why didn't we think of THAT last night!?

Stupid Sassymcgee.

11:03 a.m. - 2010-06-18

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Who DOESN'T want to punch a teenager in the face!?

I saw this on CNN yesterday.

A Seattle police officer punched a woman in the face after she attacked him while he was attempting to arrest her friend, who was also fighting with the policeman.

The newscasters were in an uproar...
Almost calling it police brutality and saying he went too far.

I think that's ridiculous.

It was obvious on the tape that the two TEENAGE girls were physically attacking him...He was getting hit and pushed until he did what he had to do.

And they STILL continued to resist him.

Last time I checked it was against the law to assault a police officer.

All this because the little brat wouldn't stop when the police officer told her to stop JAYWALKING...

Yeeeeaaaah.

Jaywalking.

No wonder people think teenagers are annoying brats.

6:08 p.m. - 2010-06-17

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Mutha Effin' Oil Spill

Okay.

I have something to say.

OBAMA DID NOT CAUSE THE OIL SPILL SO STOP BLAMING HIM FOR IT!!!!!

"Oh he didn't respond fast enough. He sucks."
"He's letting BP get away with this"
"He needs to step up and help us"

Whine whine WHINE!!! I am literally getting sick of hearing people bitch and moan about the President.
How about they blame the company that has caused this?
THEY were the ones that used cheap materials to cut costs, not the government.
They had the technology to build the rig and stick that pipe at the bottom of the ocean in the first place, so why can't they use that SAME tech to plug it UP!!!???
Modify the damn machinery already and GET IT TO STOP!

And asking Kevin Costner(?) for help...
What.
The.
Fuck.
I didn't know he was an engineer.

Maybe we should ask Paris Hilton for the answer.

Maybe she's secretly a Mensa member.

I think my head just exploded.

5:23 p.m. - 2010-06-16

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Autographs anyone?

I did it.

I submitted a short story for a contest where I might actually win.

But I'm not holding my breath.

At least I didn't sabotage myself like I tend to do.
I tend to think that I won't win so I never bother to truly try.

But I'm done with that now.
I realized that by never trying, I never win.
I might lose but at least I'm putting myself out there.

Seriously, when did I become an adult?

Stupid growing up.

2:02 p.m. - 2010-06-05

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Just call me Godzilla...Rawr.

I just about had a heart attack this morning.

A friggin' moth attacked me this morning as I was disrobing to get in the shower.
It had fangs and everything.
It's true.

Okay so it wasn't trying to attack me...

It just wanted to be on my naked self.
At 6:00 in the morning.
When I was practically sleepwalking.

Needless to say Mothra didn't make it.

Silly Mothra.

4:32 p.m. - 2010-05-20

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The Sassymcgee whine session...

Crap.

I went for a walk the other day and my legs are all achy and junk.
Plus my foot is semi-tarded.
It hurts CONSTANTLY.

I probably should just suck it up and go to the doctor.
But the being laid off for two months might be a BIT of a problem...

Crap.

Crap-CRAP!

8:17 p.m. - 2010-05-18

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Damn Wacko Scrapbookers!

Hmph.

Me and the sis were looking at this scrap-booking blog the other day to get some ideas for the craft/office/art studio room.
It's not very big so we needed to see some inventive ways to store all that stuff.

And it scared me a tad.

Because some of the people on there are WEIRD.
And creeeep-y.

They were friggin' talking about how they love to dress their cats, how they spend all day in that little room, etc.

It's no wonder that I absolutely HATE scrap-booking...
I just throw the pics in pocket albums and slap some stickers on it.
That's IT.

My hatred is a TAD odd because of my love of painting and junk like that.
But I really don't want to spread three hours just picking out the background paper, what THEME, blah blah blah.

It's making me annoyed just thinking about it.

Grrrrr.

3:35 p.m. - 2010-05-17

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