sassymcgee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can someone just invent a replicator already!? I'm tired. Mentally AND emotionally. I've been freakishly worrying about my finances to the point that I'm losing sleep. I'm not depressed. I'm worried, and highly annoyed, that my money situation is so shitty when I have a full time job AND a part time job. I don't need drugs. I need a job that will pay me accordingly... I guess I COULD start hooking. But I really don't know enough chubby chasers to make enough dough. Whatever. 8:07 p.m. - 2010-01-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"That's the state of the world today...\" I am pondering what to write about. I COULD write about my thoughts on the Haitian government and the effects of greed in sociological terms. But that would just anger me. Maybe I could write about the downward spiral this country as a whole is facing economically AND ethically. Can you say "depressing"? I could even talk about war and how there's no such thing as "winning" a war... But I'm not going to write about any of that. Because frankly, I'm in a good mood. And I want to talk about something that puts me in a good mood...
I had bacon for breakfast today. If everybody ate bacon, I am 99.99999% positive that there wouldn't be such things as war and greed: everybody would be floating around on a bacon high. Ha. I'm kidding myself. Stupid world. 8:02 p.m. - 2010-01-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Give me some funk... I am having a hair FUNK. It's starting to look a bit blah and it's SERIOUSLY boring. I'm running out of ideas I like--many of the 'dos I find tend to be a bit weird or just ugly. Or they just look stupid on me. Ehhh. I just need to do something funky and colorful. Decisions decisions... 7:13 p.m. - 2010-01-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Help! I've fallen and my lazy ass doesn't want to get up! All I want to do lately is sit around like a blob and play on the computer. I'm too flippin' tired. Ugh. Nothing seems to be exciting or interesting enough to pull me out of this haze I've found myself lately. I just want to hang out in comfy pants and a t-shirt. Well this crazy-cold weather PROBABLY isn't helping...today's temperature was a balmy 19 though. Woo-fricking-hoo. O Spring please hurry before I become a human popsicle. Brrrr.
6:03 p.m. - 2010-01-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Duck and Mouse: The TRUE story? Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. Where are your pants? Seriously. Nope. Minnie and Daisy wear dresses--with KNICKERS even. What makes you two SO special that pants are NOT a part of your wardrobe? Hmmmmm... Both of you are lacking pants. Interesting. This is just an assumption. But two dudes that hangout together without any pants on? I'm just saying. 4:46 p.m. - 2010-01-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chocolat 2: Electric Boogaloo Why do I feel like Chunk from The Goonies? I am SERIOUSLY eating chocolate like I'm addicted to it. I would seriously rip chains out of a wall to reach a Baby Ruth candy bar right now. No joke. The weird part is that I don't normally eat chocolate. Thank god I don't live near the Wonka Factory... Or I'd be that fat kid in the beginning trying to drink that entire chocolate river. And I KNOW I'd get stuck in the pipe... Stupid bootyliciousness.
2:22 p.m. - 2010-01-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These bones say thanks... Dear Neighborhood, Thank you. Thank you all for shoveling your sidewalks allowing me to walk over to my friends' houses without falling down and breaking something. I haven't seen these friends for a long long LONG time so it was nice to be able to visit. So again, thanks. Sincerely, Sassymcgee. 6:05 p.m. - 2010-01-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cabin Fever is in effect and warping my brain... Oh to have another week off. To not have to go outside into the coldness and interact with people if I choose not to. AND I'm just about over it. I could actually go back to work and NOT mind it...even the getting up BEFORE the crack of dawn part. Okay well SOME of them. Let's not get crazy here. 12:15 p.m. - 2010-01-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WARNING!!! This movie COULD distort your perception... Grease and Grease 2 are on VH1 today. And I'm laughing about the first time I watched these movies when I was a sweet, innocent little gal. I just loved the songs and the dancing. But as I'm typing, I realize this movie sends a message...and not really a good one. Danny Zuko is an ass. Now THAT would be romantic. 5:42 p.m. - 2010-01-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What am I going to do with my Sundays now!? YEEEAAAA!!!!! They actually beat their losing streak with bowl games! Sorry I just peed a bit from laughing. The best part actually is the commercials. Shut up. It could happen. 12:01 p.m. - 2010-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scarlet and Grey all the way! I'm keeping this entry short AND very sweet people. Only one thing on my mind today. GO BUCKEYES!!!!!!! O-H! I-O! Please please PLEASE don't let me regret writing this entry guys. Because that would suck HARD. 11:26 a.m. - 2010-01-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Extreme Human Makeover: The McGee Edition. Tomorrow's a brand spanking new year. Hmmmm. I'm not going to make any resolutions only to fail at them miserably. Like every other year. Nope. I'm just going to try to be the person I KNOW I can be...to be happier with my life and really, myself. Man. I have a LOT of things to do next year. I'm sleeping in tomorrow. 10:42 a.m. - 2009-12-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pants or no pants? That should NEVER be a question... I just came back from the dentist. Two and half hours of HELL so buckle up for this rant... Beyonce. WHAT.THE...!?? Really? Thank GOD video wasn't around decades ago or there wouldn't be a Mama Cass. Or Janis Joplin. I'm just saying. 4:08 p.m. - 2009-12-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Emo-pop...ugh. Owl City. That song kinda sucks. There's just SOMETHING about his voice that reminds me of a whiny little snot. When the artist's voice annoys you, there's just no getting over that--even if the song's lyrics are the best EVER written. And they are definitely NOT. Not even close. 12:01 p.m. - 2009-12-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for Nuthin' Dear credit card buttheads, Thank you. Thank you for taking someone, like myself, It let me not give a shit if I paid you or not. I worked HARD to build up my credit and you decided to be shady and do everything you could to screw me over. So right back at ya. This was DEFINITELY a wise move on your parts to do this to people during a RECESSION--brilliant. GREAT way to try to get your money back. I think there's some sick puppies outside you can kick. Or a homeless shelter you can burn down. Douches. Sincerely wishing you fall down a well, Sassymcgee. 10:00 a.m. - 2009-12-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The bestest co-workers EVER...ummhmm. I've realized something. I am one twisted individual. The other day I was working and the ladies were all upset because I was sitting in the office just laughing and having a good old time. What they didn't know was that I was placing orders and talking about changing up the menu...blah blah blah. At first I was mad at their blatant pettiness, then I decided to ignore them... And did that ever tick them off! As this cloud of jealousy swirled around, I just became nicer and happier: completely ignoring the snarls. It was glorious. They even carried their attitudes over into Christmas. Every year there's a group of women who give out gifts to everybody. Well this year a couple of them gave out presents to everybody EXCEPT me and a couple of others. That's so lovely and full of Christmas spirit... It just verifies the type of people these women REALLY are. I probably should be glad I didn't get anything from them. No cyanide-filled cookies for this chickie thanks.
3:45 p.m. - 2009-12-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's no crying in MY diary!!!! I can't watch Animal Planet. Because everytime I DO THAT commercial comes on and I get all girly and weepy. The commercial I'm referring to is the one about abused pets and... 4:07 p.m. - 2009-12-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I thought Cleveland Rocks...but maybe that's just me? I watched the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame concert on HBO yesterday. And I had one thought: WHY are ALL the DAMN induction ceremonies anywhere BUT Cleveland!!??? I mean seriously! Cleveland was good enough to be the site for the actual museum but not good enough to hold ANY of the ceremonies???? I call BULLSHIT! Bullllshiitt. It's ridiculous. And an insult to Ohio. Stupidheads. 9:52 p.m. - 2009-12-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twitter Be Gone! Yeeeaaaah. Twitter is stupid. I might be getting old, but a social network where MINIMAL interaction is the norm is just not for me. Plus all the stinking spam is utterly RIDICULOUS!!! I probably should give it more of a chance. But this soon-to-be EX-Twitt just doesn't have the time. Okay. More like lack of patience. Stupid trends. 2:06 p.m. - 2009-12-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- O Sassymcgee, O Sassymcgee. How tasty are your cookies? I am actually feeling the Chree-mah spirit... No really. I even feel like baking some stuff. I don't know what or how many of whatever I decide. I just know that something needs to be baked and soon. Merry Christmas. What...did you SERIOUSLY think I wasn't going to be a BIT of a smart ass? Oh how little thoust knowth me... 5:32 p.m. - 2009-12-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Screw the abacus! I want me laptop!!! Lordy. It's nice to have my computer back. I was starting to FLIP out a tad that I didn't have it--I am soooooo used to being on it. Plus, I do my writing on this here computer. Now I can relax. 5:25 p.m. - 2009-12-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is my middle name Noah!? WHAT is UP with me and water this year!?? My frig is slowly dripping water onto it's entire contents. And that's not the bad part. All of said water then freezes creating this damn stinking frozen debacle. I have thrown away food that is not freezable at ALL--and I really DON'T have the moolah to waste food. Man that sounds AWESOME. Stupid frig. 1:58 a.m. - 2009-12-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Liquid Pumpkin Anyone? I saw the end of the show Hoarders the other day. And pretty much now think I have one of the cleanest houses on the PLANET. The woman on the show had ROTTEN food everywhere. That means she's been eating rotten food. Out of those boxes... Blech. And I thought I had rock gut. 7:51 p.m. - 2009-12-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Playground Shenanigans When I was in the fifth grade this girl Annette told me I liked blow jobs. Lucky for me I did. But wait. I came home and had dinner and did what any kid does before going to bed. My mom came into my room to say goodnight and I blurted: "Mom what's a blow job?" I'm 99.9999% sure that my mom almost had a heart attack. But instead of not answering the VERY uncomfortable question, she actually answered it. BUT with ALL the technical terms that a little tyke like myself couldn't POSSIBLY understand. So still not knowing what in the hell she was talking about, my mom kissed me goodnight and closed the door. So the next day or so in school my buddy Sean and I looked up the one word I remembered from my mom's "explanation" in the encyclopedia: SEX. And THAT is how I first learned about the birds and the bees. From a book. Maybe THAT'S why I like to read so much. Hmmmm... 7:28 p.m. - 2009-12-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I REFUSE to take Geritol already dammit! It's official... I'm flipping old. I seriously went to bed last night on a Friday night at 10:30pm. Next month I'll probably be wearing Depends. It could happen. 7:08 p.m. - 2009-12-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Twitt is spreading her wings Ugh. It's official. I am now a Twittererer. Whatever. I joined it so I could plug this page and see if anyone will read this stuff. Watch I'll probably lose the three people who DO read this. Figures. 5:31 p.m. - 2009-12-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rated H for ho. What the HELL is wrong with girls TODAY!? Seriously ladies we need to talk. Well I'll talk and you use those things called ears to listen. So pull up your chairs and get ready... PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!!!! It's cold. It's raining. It is NOT summer so put the skanky tight shirts and teeny little skirts AWAY before the parts you are so eager to show turn blue and start falling off. I mean is it REALLY necessary to constantly have things popping out for the entire world population to see? It must get old. Doesn't it? 4:53 p.m. - 2009-12-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Woof. Holy crap. For about five minutes today I was bubbly, charming and giggly. I think I was VERY close to either passing out or vomiting. All because of one thing... And his name was Luis. I never realized that an accent could be so...grrr. He is deliciously cute and has this bone-melting voice. I AM growing up. I'm as surprised as you are. 9:17 p.m. - 2009-12-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ummm I'm back...? Hello? Wow. I've been such a lazy ass!!!! I can't believe I haven't written ANYTHING in SOOO long. And so many stupid little things have been happening too. But don't worry: I'm back with tales of my stupidity and glorious insights. I promise. And pinky swear. 9:08 p.m. - 2009-12-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When did I move to Cali? Oh my upstairs neighbors. The other night I was all cozy in my bed when I heard them vacuuming their carpet. It was 11:30pm. And earlier this past week I was sleeping and having this dream about being in an earthquake. Only to wake up and feel my entire bedroom shaking. Needless to say I was a bit freaked out for a moment. When I realized that the house WASN'T crumbling down around me, I figured out what was happening. They were doing laundry. At 1:30 in the morning. Now don't get me wrong: I know they didn't realize that by doing laundry they were creating an earthquake in my bedroom. That's why I tried to wait it out. But eventually I had to go upstairs and ask them to please turn off their washing machine(I really was polite and told them why). And they did. I thanked them and finally went back to sleep.Unfortunately, this was the start of my restless, crappy nights of sleep that I've had since then. I've been so sweet to be around lately. And if you believe THAT, I have some swamp land in Florida I can sell you. 10:56 a.m. - 2009-11-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fo' sho I's be talkin' like dis Wuzzup homey? WHY was I talking like I lived in da hood the other day? I's as far froms da hood as I's could be. I DO work at a college where most of the cheerleaders are bigger than the football players and 85% of the students are athletes... No joke. So that's probably where I got the idea... Word to your mother. 7:33 p.m. - 2009-11-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Treats for Tricks Wow.
"Are they SERIOUSLY wearing a costume? Oh wait. Halloween's coming up...but isn't it still September?" Really I think Halloween has become more of an excuse for women to dress like whores. There are sexy costumes for EVERYTHING. I mean I swear to all that is holy that I even saw a costume for a sexy clown in a costume catalog. WHAT THE...!? There is absolutely NOTHING sexy about a clown...yuck. If only I would've written this BEFORE Halloween I would've had the best costume EVER. A sexy SAD clown. I'm a genius. Seriously. 7:09 p.m. - 2009-11-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Does Abercrombie stand for sucks ass? I'mmmmmm baaaack. Abercrombie & Fitch sucks ass. We were talking about the store at work today that besides girls that weigh 70 lbs, who would want to shop there!? Here's why I think AF sucks so hard. If you get within a 20 mile radius of the place, you start to get queasy from the overpowering stench of the place. And you haven't even stepped inside yet. You walk in already poisoned from the cologne to realize that you can't move more than two feet without pushing your way through the racks. Then Megan the salesgirl glares at you as you touch the racks and wrinkle them a bit. oh and good luck finding anything above a small--which in the AF world means "fat cow". I'm not going to talk about the $50 tshirts. Only that to compensate for the small group of girls they target(anorexics), they almost HAVE to charge such a crazy ass amount for a cotton tshirt. Warning: stay away from there at Christmas. Seriously. Or you may kill someone... Trust me. 8:50 p.m. - 2009-10-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did someone pee in my Cheerios this morning!!? I am NOT feeling love today for my fellow man. I even had BACON today and that did not improve my mood one iota. Now you see how much of a crabbypants I was today? If eating bacon couldn't improve my mood... I should just stay in today and stop interacting with people. But unfortunately I can't...I have a standing card game(but mostly gabfest) that my fam and I started about nine years ago. I probably should go home early. 7:24 p.m. - 2009-10-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I watched this for two hours for this stupid ass ending!? I saw Law Abiding Citizen last night. I thought the movie was good. Plus, Jamie's character was a complete douche. Overall, the movie was ehh. But I did get to see Mr. Butler's booty. And it ALMOST made up for the disappointing ending. Almost. 9:37 p.m. - 2009-10-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let the games begin I had an epiphany a moment ago. And no that's NOT a drink. Or a different way to say bowel movement--even though it DOES sound like a delicious adult beverage... But I digress. I don't want to be alone anymore. I've had enough practice being single--thirty-some odd years--and... Let the carnage begin. 10:37 p.m. - 2009-10-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Excuse me, your bass is in my face... I am SO past the time where I have to listen to music at the highest possible decibel. My god. When did I become my DAD!!!??? Turn up the stereo. Seriously. 9:47 p.m. - 2009-10-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OMG! I work with a bunch of Linda Blairs!!! To some of my co-workers: This past week you've been mean and harsh... You've hurt my feelings. You've treated me like crap for things that were YOUR doing. It's NOT MY FAULT you didn't accept my new job when it was offered to YOU. I accepted a job that NONE of you wanted. But as soon as you realized how AWESOME this job was... You became mega-bitches. So no more Miss Nice Sassymcgee. You pushed me too far. There's no turning back. 2:42 a.m. - 2009-10-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Furnace Hands My hands are ALWAYS warm. Seriously. But ANY hands would be next to most of my co-workers. I work with some of the tiniest women on the planet. I'm the token chubby. The ugly friend of the group. OR it could mean that my mutant powers are FINALLY kicking in. Maybe I'll shoot fire. Hmmm. 3:58 p.m. - 2009-10-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Achy Breaky Hair Oh mullets... Okay. What is UP with this hairdo!? I mean it's NOT attractive on anyone--ESPECIALLY the ladies. At least I'm getting a few laughs... 6:55 p.m. - 2009-10-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyrical GENIUS!!! I think that I should become a songwriter. I'm always making up these songs that my co-workers seem to think are AWESOME!! Lalala... 5:53 p.m. - 2009-10-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- O.My.God!!!! WHY did I just get the crap scared out of me!!?? I JUST got off work and walked up my porch steps--I even jangled my keys to alert any stray kitties--and saw nothing. And pretty much almost peed my pants. All I heard was this crash and I saw this monstrous thing jump OVER my porch railing and over the bushes. Well I know I woke some of the neighbors up with my insanely loud scream. Ha. 2:00 a.m. - 2009-10-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm REALLY starting to hate Saturdays. That's right. Saturdays. I am SO unlucky lately. Last Saturday night I literally had hot scalding grease sprayed in my face by a fricking cheeeseburger. I've never looked so attractive. Yeah. Right. 12:03 p.m. - 2009-10-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some people should require a license to breed... Oopies. Life has gotten in the way of my writing lately. Silly life. I have a question: WHAT is up with parents today? Why are they NOT making their children accountable for their actions? WHY!!??? "Oh Timmy didn't mean to beat up that old lady..It's her fault for walking down the street minding her own business..." "I'm calling for my son. he can't come in to work today. He's not spending enough time on his schoolwork so he needs to study." "What is wrong with teachers today!? They need to spend more one on one time with my Sally and make sure she's using her full potential!" I have actually heard these statements come out of peoples' mouths. Well not for verbatim. I'm not a frickin' tape recorder. People! Your children are NOT your buddies. No matter WHAT you do, you will become an annoyance and uncool. So stop trying to hang with them and be all understanding and crap and DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN!!!! Or you're going to end up with children acting JUST LIKE the people you hate. Hopefully some of my friends AND family will realize I'm talking to them... Probably not. Sigh. 3:36 p.m. - 2009-10-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Crack. The NEW way to diet. I think the only way I'm going to lose weight is if I start using cocaine. Crap. 5:48 p.m. - 2009-09-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Swimming anyone? Why was it that the upstairs neighbors decided to hook up a washer and dryer? Well that's not even the question. BUT I HAD A SMALL LAKE IN MY BEDROOM!!! I could've given out swim passes for crying out loud. Plus my carpet is STILL damp... 12:54 p.m. - 2009-09-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Autumn Is Here! Why is it that I'm super-duper excited that it's FINALLY fall? Football. Seriously. I love love LOVE me some football. Only I don't know why because I'm a fan of the worst damn team in the NFL!!! Onto sweaters. I love em. My fall/winter wardrobe is WAY better and stylish than my summer wardrobe thanks to sweaters. I pretty much live in t-shirts and jeans in the summer--no tank, tube or bikini tops for this chickie. No siree bobbie. Well at least I get to watch my team lose while being stylish. Yippee. I changed my mind about digging fall... 11:52 a.m. - 2009-09-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I DO kiss my mom with this mouth...dickhead. Who decided that cuss words were bad? Because seriously, I loves me some foul language. Sometimes the "dirty" words need to be said to get one's anger across. Oopsies. Truly who did? Was it some self-righteous, jerk-offish religious zealot that decreed it to all the peons that they shouldn't use these "filthy" words or they'll go to hell or some such other bullshit? Stupid pious asses. 8:52 p.m. - 2009-09-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knocking Heads Do you know what? People who constantly whine and bitch about how much their life sucks just want one thing... To hear themselves ramble on and on. And on. And on. Boo hoo. Seriously people! EVERYBODY has problems. Some just don't act like whiny little brats. Here's a tip: Shut your pie-holes! Get off your ass and change whatever it is that makes your life so DAMN unbearable! Hate your job? Get another one. Don't have a job? Stop being so goddamn picky and get two if you have to to make ends meet. Hate where you live then MOVE... Use some stinking common sense and get your heads out of your asses. I did.
8:11 p.m. - 2009-09-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cotton Candy Poisoning??? Oh festival time... How I love to see all the drunks stumbling around outdoors mingling with all the youngsters and blue hairs. It especially warms the cockles of my heart when one of them attempts to hit on you after drinking since noon. Glorious. Okay don't get me wrong I enjoy an adult beverage myself(see "Yukon Destruction"), but festivals just seem to bring out a certain type of drunk assiness only seen at festival tents. Maybe it's a mix of sunshine, live bands, and cotton candy that makes them seem exceedingly moronic. Maybe they don't get out as much as they used to so they drink. I don't know. Unfortunately it's going to be even worse tonight. Sigh. 2:42 p.m. - 2009-09-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Flying Poop and other fun junk When one toilet overflows it's annoying. But when EVERY toilet and drain in the entire building you work in overflows it literally SUCKS ASS!!! And cleaning it up is just the mostest fun. Especially since there's absolutely no place to put all said water that keeps pumping up from the drains. There were people just standing around with mops pushing it around and around splashing everything and everyone...ARGH! Oh! Did I tell you the toilets actually EXPLODED!? No? Now you know... THAT was an especially nice surprise. I hate today. Where's the beer? 4:57 p.m. - 2009-09-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Great Belt Shortage of 2009 Attention to the stanky butts I see due to all the droopy drawers... I'm sorry but I really DON'T want to see what 'wares are covering you this morning--or ANY morning. So stanky butts, if you could PLEASE pass this on to all those fellas out there that would be super duper. Thank you. 8:45 p.m. - 2009-09-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tale of the Sunbathing Bicycle I have a bicycle in my yard. That statement alone isn't weird but the fact is that it's a mini-bike. Plus, IT ISN'T MINE. Or any of the neighbors' from my understanding. It's been laying in my front yard for over a week, just a chillin' in the sunshine by my front steps. At first I didn't think anything of it 'cause there ARE a large amount of tykes in my 'hood and I just thought they were being lazy with their possessions like kids sometimes are. No way Jose. 11:02 a.m. - 2009-09-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Garage Sale Syndrome Why do we put ourselves through the torture of having a garage sale? I mean seriously you spend WEEKS sorting through your crap, pricing all of it, and finding enough space to put the stuff. All for about 100 bucks. Maybe. Me and my sister helped our parents with their garage sale yesterday and it lasted FOREVER and was pretty slow. By the end of three days me and my sis got about $70.
And someone will appreciate the insane amount of curlers my mom couldn't sell. Or maybe not. 10:47 a.m. - 2009-09-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Check yourself before I wreck yourself! Note to self: Never help out someone who you KNOW is a complete douche. Because then you get angry when they act like you SHOULD help them instead of being grateful that their old ass didn't have to get on their knees to clean out... Yeeeah. I REALLY need to change to my new job before I start punching some old ladies in the head. No joke. 4:46 p.m. - 2009-09-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mouthful of CRAP!!! I hate my teeth. I have NEVER had completely healthy, beautiful perfect teeth--from the time I was a tiny kid losing my baby teeth to now, my teeth have literally been the biggest pain in my ass. I went from teeny baby teeth to teeth that were four times larger making it impossible for them to grow in straight. My eye teeth came out of my upper gums and distorted my upper lip til I had them removed. My permanent teeth are about 80% fillings which after only about 10 years are starting to fall out every time I brush--I even had my dentist say that he should've capped them instead of put fillings in them! I am SO close to just yanking out every single tooth. On my own. With my fist. 9:25 p.m. - 2009-09-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I SWEAR I'm not a Trekkie!!! Ohmigod. I am seriously the biggest geek-a-zoid in the state of Ohio. I have seriously already begun looking up hotels to go to the San Diego Comic Con next year--and it just happened at the end of July. I have never been able to go, but next year it is on! Every year it gets bigger and bigger--it's not JUST about comics anymore. I am freaking worried that I won't be able to get a hotel...ALREADY! God, I have to get out of the house more. 9:14 p.m. - 2009-09-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Phoenix is my bitch!!! WARNING!!!! This entry is not for the sci-fi haters. Me and my friend want to become Xmen. We have had decided it would be super duper cool to mutate and have an awesome power. My friend TK even asked her doc if that was why she felt like crap...was she mutating? He just looked at her blankly. Good stuff. I know that I would want to kick some SERIOUS ass with my mutation. Duh. 4:59 p.m. - 2009-09-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let the backstabbing BEGIN!! Okay. I get it. Your jobs suck and it's utterly ridiculous that you have to do what you're told. Boo-fucking-hoo. Some of my co-workers are EXTREMELY dramatic, spend ALL DAY looking for shit to bitch about, and are pretty much back-stabbing be-yatches. I'm going to let you in on a tiny little secret: their jobs are not that hard. In fact, up until recently I had one of the crappiest jobs in the place. Oh but now I get a better job and I'm public enemy number one. Whatever. Hopefully I'll be out of there in the next week... I'm scared because I have this feeling I'm going to be there forever with these "adults". Crap. 4:42 p.m. - 2009-09-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is there a flood 'round here? WHAT is up with the old ladies wearing the high-waters!? If you ever see me wearing pants like that, feel free to punch me in the head. Well let me know WHY you're punching or you MIGHT possibly be punched back. Stop me from looking like Urkel... Seriously. 3:38 p.m. - 2009-09-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maggots ATTACK!!!!! A week ago I had this infestation of maggots all over my trash dumpster. Unfortunately it was, at the time, right outside my back door. Needless to say the mini-dumpster has never been cleaner. I've got goosebumps just remembering it. 6:21 p.m. - 2009-09-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mouth-watering. I'm just wondering if there's EVER going to be a time when my boyfriend, Gerard Butler, will ever just get over the whole "movie" thing and propose already. That MIGHT be the reason he hasn't proposed yet... Nah. 6:49 p.m. - 2009-09-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm not Oscar, I just look that way I am a bundle of kindness towards people today... I don't do nice. Or peppy. I'm the person that people have to tell to "smile" all the time. Sounds like I'm getting over the kindness thing. It's good to be back to my snarly self. Grrrrr. 6:28 p.m. - 2009-09-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Purple WHAT? I never realized that I do NOT know the words to most songs--I just make up my own words and sing them so much that I forget that I made them up. "True" by Spandau Ballet sounds SO much like they're singing "The smudge is b-blue. The smudge is b-blue. I know this. smudge is. BLUE!" Try it. It's perfecto. And Prince. I had no idea for years that the words "purple banana" were in the song "Let's Go Crazy". I thought I was reading a misprint. Who am I kidding!? I still would.
5:53 p.m. - 2009-08-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Skipping to my lou Wow. I'm amazed at how much I'm actually liking life right now. Something is BOUND to come along and ruin this mood. It always does. 5:58 p.m. - 2009-08-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Desensitizing one idiot at a time Politically correct people need to be shot. I am SO tired of people trying to sugar coat EVERYTHING! Here's a few ideas: 1. I Am white. I am so white I'm almost see-through. I am also German, Polish, English, Indian...you get my point. I am more than "white", so stop categorizing me(or anyone else). 2. Stop taking away our sports mascots. Soon the only things left will be cockroaches, rats, and inanimate objects. 3. Stop with the "Happy Holidays" crap. Three different holidays for three different religions. Use the appropriate greeting please. Just because they fall at the same time doesn't give anybody the right to lump these holidays together...it's just disrespectful. Being "PC"... Not my bag of tea. 9:36 a.m. - 2009-08-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Movie quotin' fool I realized that I could speak entirely in movie quotes. If I wanted. I loves me some quotes--I've even been known to quote TV shows. If I find something that I think is funny, bet your ass that I will be quoting it. It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't stop myself. It comes from my love of movies. I have HBO and Showtime at home PLUS I use Netflix. I own hundreds of DVDs(and still have a few VHS--stop laughing.) I even go to the theater for the best of the best. Seeing a movie in an IMAX theater is my next goal. Bet you can't guess what I'm doing tonight... 4:54 p.m. - 2009-08-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yukon destruction I found photos on my digital camera that I don't remember taking. The pics are funny and looks like we were having fun... Just wish I remembered all the good times. Stupid Snakebite shot. 1:53 p.m. - 2009-08-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Snorty McSnortenstein What is it about people that snort when they laugh!? It is flipping HILARIOUS--and makes me laugh even more. My friend "Lulu" snorts ALL the time, and even more when she gets drunk. You drunk ass. Love ya ;) 9:25 p.m. - 2009-08-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Crazytown Omigod yesterday's episode of Big Brother was AWESOME! Buh-bye Chima! What a whiny self-absorbed BITCH. Oh Big Broseph how I love ya! 3:29 p.m. - 2009-08-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Et tu Feet? I thought I broke my hand last night. I was exiting my room and(the doofus I am) tripped over the clothes hamper I knew was there. My arm swings out and WHACK! I hit the side of my hand on the edge of the door frame. I am now the proud owner of a ginormous lump. Surprisingly my hand is almost free of bruises--there's only a slight discoloration. I get bruises from things I don't even remember: a small fingerprint bruise when nobody's touched me for example. Perfect little oval bruises...unless I'm just being rough with myself. Wait. Get your mind out of the gutter! That was not what I was talking about! Sinners. Downstairs. In the basement. 6:06 p.m. - 2009-08-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Pepe hatred My dream last night: I saw a skunk during the day, just hanging out in the sun. 5:40 p.m. - 2009-08-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I kick AZZZ! EEEK!!! I did it. I started my novel. I have gotten over myself and it just happened...and I didn't die. Or faint. Or throw up. And let me tell you, my peeps, that this story is nothing like this diary--it's actually really dark and serious. My story is about how power corrupts and what happens(well at least in my fictional world.duh.) when some fight back against that corruption. I don't dream big AT ALL...;) 8:00 p.m. - 2009-08-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drowning in my sea of crap I want to buy a house. I look around at my apartment full of crapola that I don't know what to do with(or have a spot to put it)and I just want to get out. Or just get rid of it all. Maybe I'll shave my head, give up all my worldly possessions and join a cult. Nah. Take your pick. Plus, I think I would look atrocious bald. Maybe not. 5:26 p.m. - 2009-08-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Planning sucks butt I've decided to scrap my "damn dirty oil painting" and start fresh. And this time I'm not going to plan a stinking thing--not even the colors I will be using. My hands are going to be SO multicolored... Sweet. 6:18 p.m. - 2009-08-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Snoozapalooza I was listening to The Fray before I went to work and I realized that they truly do suck ass. His whiny ass slow songs are SO boring--not to mention that all their songs ARE ALMOST THE SAME SONG OVER AND OVER. Snooze. Maybe I can use them to help me fall asleep... 6:44 p.m. - 2009-08-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sleepy I be My eyes have become flaming orbs from hell. I think if you were to come up behind me and hit the back of my head my eyeballs would plop out onto the floor. Thank goodness I have Sunday off--hopefully I'll be able to sleep. The sleepy time has been very choppy and restless this past week. My friends like to say this little gem when I become a whiny little snot: Oh beer how I've missed ye. 9:41 p.m. - 2009-08-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- T.M.I Grandma!! My grandmother flew into Ohio to visit with us a few weeks ago and we went out to lunch. I just threw up in my mouth a bit. 3:52 p.m. - 2009-08-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Job Assassination Attempt My bosses are trying to kill me... Seriously. Call the cops before I come up missing and they find my decaying body on the riverbank. Or as the secret ingredient in the sloppy joes. Hurry... Stupid needing paychecks to survive. 3:32 p.m. - 2009-08-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kid Talk is Kewl I think tomorrow I am going to talk like a kid. I just decided this a minute ago. Which pretty much means that I'm going to say things like "poophead" and "stupidhead" all day long. It freaks people OUT, especially since I normally have the mouth of a drunk sailor... And I'm ALWAYS about freaking people out. 3:25 p.m. - 2009-08-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blue Hair Scare Ohmigod! I just found a gray hair...wait for it...in my EYEBROW! What the hell!? I am NOT old enough to have gray eyebrows! Not even my mom has gray eyebrows yet. Great. First I had my 20th high school reunion(which included MANY adult beverages and damaged kneecaps). Then I realized that I'm old enough to be all the cute little college boys' mother. I also realized that I get super excited when I purchase brand new appliances--every time I wash a load of laundry I pet my washing machine and tell it how much I love it. The worst of all was the other day when I raised my right arm and it hurt for three days...for no reason. Now I'm officially one step closer to being that crazy old lady on the street all the kids are scared of. Crap. 3:55 p.m. - 2009-08-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kryptonite-like Why is everything that's bad for you so damn delicious!? I thought I was starting my new food diary and exercise program today and instead I'm sitting here like a lump drinking a Dr. Pepper and thinking about eating a couple hundred cookies. I need someone to kick my ass everyday so I won't eat a pound of bacon in the morning--and we all know how much I love bacon. I probably should get up and do some yoga. Stupid exercise. 4:52 p.m. - 2009-08-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Cars That Go Boom Why do people insist on honking their horns as they drive past my house? I'm sure not going to get off my lazy butt to see who it is. I've even been asked by friends if I heard them beeping.
4:34 p.m. - 2009-08-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fucking Government!!!!
When are companies going to be held accountable for their shady business practices? Bonner & Associates were caught AGAIN committing mail fraud and they didn't even get a fine--mail fraud is a federal offense!!If you don't know who they are, B&A are a corporate lobby firm that was hired to combat the current climate bill. They wrote and sent out twelve fake letters to three different congressmen--Rep. Tom Perriello(D-Va) was one of these three that recieved the letters--using someone else's letterhead and name(I think this time it was the American Latino Association). When the Asses get backed into a corner, they act like spoiled little fucking brats and throw temper tantrums and bullying tactics. If I wasn't already a Democrat, these tactics by assholes like this would definitely make me pick a party that that doesn't act like that. 12:29 p.m. - 2009-08-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Novel Schmovel
Jesus, I've finally said it! I am so afraid that it will suck and that's ridiculous! I know that now is the perfect time for this story to be out in the world: it's criticism of war and greed fit perfectly with our skewed, mixed up world today. But, for some idiotic reason I can't seem to start my fictional world. Maybe because my world could become a reality if things continue as they are. And I sure as hell don't want that. Trust me. 1:21 p.m. - 2009-08-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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