sassymcgee's Diaryland Diary

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It's a fam-ily tradition...

I went to a wedding yesterday.

A cousin's wedding.

A cousin who took her first STEPS from me.

And not one person came to our table to even say hello.

Not the bride.
Or my aunts.

Well I was glad there was one who didn't speak to me...
She made my life hell growing up and I have no desire to ever speak to her again.

But the others?

I don't understand.

I grew up with them.

IS it because of the bad blood between me and the aunt?
Because she still gets to be a part of their family even though I KNOW she's a horrible person.

I don't get IT!!!

I know when it changed though.

I can give you the date.

It was when my grandmother died.

A grandmother who told my father lies about me while I was still in high school, making life with my father almost impossible.
A grandmother who told me at about ten that I didn't need birthday presents anymore...
That ten was too old for such things ONLY to have all the other grandkids get presents until THEY were about sixteen.
A grandmother who told me on the last day of her life(she had lung cancer) in front of my family
"You know I love you."
And I had to say it back to that woman or I would be the evil one.
So I did.
I lied.
And seven or so years later it STILL pisses me off at her manipulating me.
Because she didn't love ME.
She barely tolerated me.

At her funeral they all said she was a family woman who deeply loved and cherished us.

I seriously thought I was at the wrong funeral.

Because when she was alive NOBODY WOULD'VE SAID THAT.
A woman who really made all of our lives hell one way or another.
But dead?
They forgot all about her bullshit and made her into a completely different person.
So now they are all one big fucking lying family.

And I'm sitting at this reception where they don't even have enough seats and tables for everyone they've invited.

THEN the only time they acknowledge our presence is for the fucking bridal toss where they try to force us to stand up and catch some damn flowers.

Fucking family.

10:24 a.m. - 2011-04-17

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