sassymcgee's Diaryland Diary

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To the coolest grandpa EVER!

I promise this is the last, yet most important one.

I no longer have a grandfather.

Yesterday, hundreds of miles away, my grandfather was laid to rest in a cemetery I will never get to visit and say goodbye to him.
A foreign, unknown place is where he now rests: not the family plots in Ohio where his brothers and other relation are buried.
I am heartbroken that I couldn't afford to go out there and say my goodbyes...
I feel like the worst possible granddaughter for not being there.

And I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.

So I will say my goodbyes now.

Thank you grandpa for being the grandpa that every person who's ever written about family writes about. You were the type of grandpa that some people, I am sure, wished they had.
Thanks for helping me shape my sense of humor and being such a calm, witty person.
Thank you for always having those silly shoes with the quarters and your goofy nicknames for us.
Thank you for being at my college graduation and seeing me accomplish something I had worked so hard for.
Thank you for coming and visiting us back in Ohio when you and grandma moved to Arizona.

Thank you for being you.

I love you and I miss you already...

It will be two years in March that he passed away and I wrote this.

The funny part?

He would've LOVED this blog.

4:38 p.m. - 2010-09-26

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Grown-Up Freak OUT!!

Wow. Another one from the archives.

Death

Last Sunday I was at a rock concert waiting for the headlining band to appear when my train of thought lead me to this:

When I die, I will never see my friends and family again.

What was THAT about?
Since when am I ever worried about death and what might happen when I do eventually kick it?
Don't get me wrong...M
y friends and family are very very important in my life. But I never worry about seeing them again or even the afterlife.
This week after thinking that, I've been pondering death. I read in one of Slyvia Browne's books awhile back that the people in your life you know right now you've ALWAYS known them and that you will definitely see them again. I sure hope Sylvia's right because frankly not seeing these wacky people again freaks me out.

Shit.

Does all this worrying about death make me officially old?
That's what I thought.
I'm just a few years closer to becoming that crazy old spinster lady that scares all the children in the neighborhood and has an insane amount of cats.

Yeeeeeeaaaah.

2008 must've been a bad year for me.

4:31 p.m. - 2010-09-26

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NOT a fond memory...

here's an old blog I wrote a couple of years ago.

LOVE.

It's what everybody desires.
To love and be loved.

Great.

But what if that so-called love never happens?
Are you supposed to curl into the fetal position and think woe-is-me for the rest of your life?
What happens when the idea of love becomes so foreign, so unknown that you can't imagine feeling something so intense for another person?

And I'm not talking about familial love.

Do you begin to think that love will never happen for you and you resign yourself to that so-called fact?
Do you seriously begin to think about children and raising them on your own, instead of with a significant other like you had always planned?
Do you begin to look at yourself to see WHY?

If yes...
Then welcome to my world.

I have never been in love.

That's a very harsh reality for me to face when I'm getting closer and closer to forty.
Sure, when I was younger there were times I thought I felt more than I did, but I quickly recovered from those boys.

My ego was hurt more than my heart.

I never cried for days and listened to crappy sad songs...
I never wondered what went wrong.
I just got over him and moved onto the next emotionally-stunted moron.

Looking back, I know I was in that bad-boy stage of my life that most women go through. The insanely gorgeous, emotionally dead guys I tried to see the good in.
Now that I've moved on, I find myself in a longer dry spell than I'm used to.

But.
I would rather be alone than have to deal with someone who's not right for me.

I realize reading that I am STILL in that rut.
And I don't want to be anymore.

4:20 p.m. - 2010-09-26

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Germ-a-phobes Beware!!!!

I have to laugh.

I was at the store the other day when I saw yet AGAIN the word "anti-bacterial" on hand soap.
And it cost more than the "regular" soap that didn't say anti-bacterial.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...

Bacteria cannot grow on soap.

Plus it cleans and kills germs JUST as effectively as the "antibacterial" soap.

I learned that in the fifth grade from my friend's science fair project.

Plus what makes things antibacterial is bad for the environment.

And I'm not up for killing the planet so I'll stick to the regular soap thanks.

2:44 p.m. - 2010-09-26

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Groove IS in the heart

I want to go dancing.

I just realized that I can NOT remember the last time I was on the dance floor shaking my groove thang.
And that's sad because I am an AWESOME dancer.

It's true.

I love dancing and if I would've been taller, I would've become a professional dancer.

Stupid genes.

I even used to make up dances in my back yard when I was a kid.

But it wasn't meant to be.

So now I dance around my pad and occasionally venture out to the bars and get down.

I become a different person when I dance...
Almost confident.

Too bad I have to work tonight.

Sigh.

2:05 p.m. - 2010-09-25

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The New Oedipus Complex

My co-worker at the bar has a step-son.

We shall call him Billy since I can't remember it...
Plus it's also short for hillbilly.

Billy's wife looks like a younger version of his mom.
It's weird.
Same bad frizzy hair.
They both wear glasses.
They even have the same body shape.

Hopefully the wifey doesn't ACT like his mom...

Now I'm just getting creepy.

Is that the norm for men?
To find copies of their moms?

That would explain a LOT though.
Because I'm PRETTY sure I am nothing like their mothers.

Pfffttt.

3:48 p.m. - 2010-09-23

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No Spuds for this chick.

What is it with the boner people get for pit bulls?

Seriously.

Because personally, I think pit bulls just LOOK mean.
And I REALLY don't care that people say they really aren't.
'Cause they're just fooling themselves.

But truly, how often do you hear about a golden retriever attacking someone?
Or a chihuahua?
Huh?
How about NEVER!?

Can't say that about Spuds.

Don't think they can be mean?
Just check out how they stand sometime.
They look like a dog version of a friggin' body builder.

Besides...

Those crazy-ass dogs keep on clamping down once they've attacked.

No thanks.

I'll just pass on having that kind of dog in my house.

Even if she drinks beer and wears sunglasses.

7:04 p.m. - 2010-09-21

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The 55 year old and up overly-tan, skanky-dressed woman festival

Ladies I have a question.

How old do you have to be before you figure out that you're not young anymore?
OR realize your drinking limit WITHOUT becoming an effing MORON???

Help me out here.
I seriously want to know.

Saturday night was that stupid cover band I told you about.
It was festival time and the skanks came out to play in full force.

I worked in the bar instead of outside at the beer tent and I can't help but wonder...

Does alcohol impair some women from being able to flush a toilet?
Because guys I'll let you in on a secret...
Sometimes women are gross.
Like revoltingly gross.
They'll go to the bathroom in a toilet full of crap.
And other things.

Some skank even left her underwear in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!???

That was a new one.

I hate hate HATE that stupid, mullet-loving, ripped t-shirt, mediocre talent, small-town rock cover band and their retarded "fans".

Thank the lord it's OVER.

7:06 p.m. - 2010-09-20

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Now I live in a neighborhood with an ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!

I heard the ice cream truck drive by yesterday.

I didn't even know those things still existed.

I DID realize that that stupid song they use does NOT invoke fond memories of childhood...that it doesn't give me a craving for ice cream.

It just annoys the crap out of me.

The song is meant to lure children to their truck for ice cream...
Sounds kinda fishy to me.
Seriously ANYBODY could buy an ice cream truck.

Stupid annoying ice cream song.

12:12 p.m. - 2010-09-18

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Home sweet...where's my home? I seem to have lost it somewhere.

I live in a new house.

The thing is, it's not mine.
It's my sister's.
And none of my things are present...
Most of them are put "away" or have been sold.

I am basically renting a room.
I just have a more annoying landlord.
That I live with.

I don't feel comfortable here.
I don't feel like I can do anything here...well except for my room and a part of the office. When I even put something AWAY it's not the right spot or I did it wrong somehow...

Truthfully I actually liked living in the over-priced apartment a LOT better...
At least I had a say in things.
Everytime I go by there I feel sad.

At least I felt like I was home.

Am I going to be able to paint? To sculpt in this place?
PROBABLY not.

It's almost like I'm homeless.

I have a feeling I might need to move.

Soon.

FUCK!!!!!

3:58 p.m. - 2010-09-17

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Cover bands, mullets and beer oh my!

I need to go to a concert.

I am in the mood to see some awesome live music.

And I emphasize the word AWESOME.

I haven't been to a concert since Rock on the Range in MAY!!!
That is just not normal for me.
I guess I will have to be sated with the bands playing at the festival in my town this weekend.

I can't wait.

So my weekend will be spent listening to a bad classic rock cover band while keeping the drunks from the festival under control.

Shoot me now.

5:19 p.m. - 2010-09-16

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Ummmmm...I honestly don't know.

Lady Gaga is effin' WEIRD.

Seriously?
A MEAT outfit?

Seriously.

I just hope she was wearing undies because meat juice in certain places would NOT be good.
Not at ALL.
But I have seen some of her videos and I have a feeling she went sans underwear.

Gross.

Besides the sanitary factor, she wasted PERFECTLY good steaks!
Steaks are meant to be eaten NOT worn.
Unless you are a cow yourself.

And don't EVEN say she could still cook them up...
Especially since she was probably without undergarments.

Ewwwww.

How in the world did that designer pitch THAT idea?
"Miss Gaga, I have the MOST original idea for your dress!"
Now a sane person would've looked at them like they were insane.
Obviously not crazypants.

Whatever.

Celebrities.

8:55 a.m. - 2010-09-15

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Et tu BACON!?

I have already failed.

Stupid evil, delicious bacon!
Did it HAVE to be in macaroni and cheese today so that I COULDN'T resist IT!?
And if so, did it have to look SO delicious?

Obviously so.

This whole eating better thing is going to be harder than I thought.

Stupid bacon in everything.

Crap.

4:54 p.m. - 2010-09-14

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Goodbye delicious fat-kid food...I'll miss you!

I'm going to start my new workout regimen today.
And I don't want to do it.
I had the most restless sleep last night and I just want to veg out on the couch and watch Roswell reruns.
But that's not in my plan.
I want to lose this sassyliciousness(or better known as my BUTT) because seriously I think if I don't I will soon be round.
My side view will be as wide as the front view.
And that is NOT HAPPENING!!!
So it's time to get back to the good old days when I could wear a bathing suit.
So get ready for lots of longing for delicious fat-kid food and some serious crankiness.

Gee now I REALLY don't want to do this.

4:03 p.m. - 2010-09-13

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The difference between the devil and a politician? You know what you're getting with the devil.

Okay.

I am pretty much getting sick and tired of politics.
It's never ANYBODY'S fault that we are in the situation we are in right now.
That's AMAZING...
Truly.
I think this damn government would be better off not having ANY political parties and then people would have to run on what type of person they are and and how they're going to fix things INSTEAD of hiding behind their damn party, crossing their fingers that we believe their bullshit.
Washington needs to SERIOUSLY stop playing the blame game with each other, take their heads out of their asses and work TOGETHER to fix things before this country implodes.

And wake up and see that Sarah Palin is THE evil incarnate...that whenever she opens her mouth a kitten, puppy, and any other small furry animal throws up.
What?
It COULD be true.

I hate election years.

5:43 p.m. - 2010-09-12

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Drunken shenanigans

He didn't show up.

So I hung out with my friends and proceeded to get tipsy and sing bad karaoke songs.
Well the ones I sang were AWESOME. As for anyone else...

Oh and I helped a coworker who just turned 21 get drunk.

Actually trashed is a better word.
She tried to keep up with ME.

Silly little young girl.

Good times.

12:43 p.m. - 2010-09-11

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A man like that would NEVER fall for ME...

Why am I SUCH a WUSS!?

There's a guy.
A sexy, funny, YOUNGER guy who keeps hinting that he would like to go out with me.
And WHAT do I do?
I tell him he can come out with me and my FRIENDS!

I am SUCH a moron.

I deserve to be alone as I am so COMPLETELY oblivious to the opposite sex...

Unless he shows up.

Then he better watch out...
Because I will be consuming mass quantities of adult beverages.

And I can be unpredictable and QUITE touchy-feely when I do that.

God I hope he shows up.

8:33 p.m. - 2010-09-09

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Another ole' fa-shun book burnin' in the U.S. of A y'all!

What the fuck is wrong with people!?

Now I'm not a religious person at ALL, But seriously!?
Burning another religion's "bible"?

Shame on that PASTOR.
Shame on him for the disrespect,
the pettiness.

Because I KNOW if someone burnt HIS bible and he knew about it...
I think his head would explode in anger.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Maybe I should pop over to see if that would happen.
I can get a hold of a bible QUITE easily.

He's honestly just another pious ass who thinks he KNOWS how people should be.
Well instead maybe he should work on himself.

Jackass.

5:26 p.m. - 2010-09-08

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Oh where O where did my entry go?

Oh Diaryland...
Where is the entry I wrote yesterday?
Did you not enjoy it?
Was it SOOOO boring that you decided not to post it?
Or was it SOOOOOOO fabulous you didn't want to share it with the rest of the world?
I know it was the last one.
But I guess I'll just have to write it again.
Silly selfish Diaryland.

10:57 a.m. - 2010-09-05

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Sufferin' Succatash!!!

The BBQ pit at the bar I work at had kittens.

On of the guys heard them mewing and saw them at the bottom.
And they look healthy so the mama is still around somewhere.
But how smart was SHE to find such a perfect place?
The kittens can't escape.
Birds and other dangerous animals can't get to the kitties to kill them and make a meal out of them.

What a smart mom.

Well, luckily the gas wasn't turned on to ignite the grill.

Then it WOULDN'T have been the perfect place.

For anyone.

5:39 p.m. - 2010-09-02

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Dungeons are nicer than THIS basement!!!

Dear dirty moldy basement,

Thank you.

Thank you for making it DISGUSTING to clean you out today.
So much so that I screamed at a cardboard box when I tried to break it down after HOURS down there.
(The box DID have the strongest tape I have ever encountered holding it together though. That crap could've held the space shuttle together.)

Thank you for allowing me to breathe in your stale, probably mold-infested, air.

And finally thanks for all the spiders' homes I invaded today with my head.
I really wasn't wanting to visit.

So good luck creeping out the next tenants.

NOT going to miss you,

Sassymcgee

7:21 p.m. - 2010-08-30

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One House Two House White House Brown House

It's almost here.

I am almost done with this moving crap.
I can't WAIT to be done with our apartment...
To not have to deal with the landlord ever again.
To never see my gross, annoying, loud neighbors again.

I am SOOOOO going to spend an entire day doing nothing except watch movies and eat fat kid food.

Come on September!!!!

7:57 p.m. - 2010-08-28

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Yumminess

Yesterday I had an honest to goodness foodgasm.

There was a welcome back picnic for faculty and staff at the president's house and the food was DELICIOUS!

Even cold it was STILL scrumptious.

Great.

Now I'm hungry.

10:33 a.m. - 2010-08-25

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Vacation. All I ever wanted. Vacation. Having to get away!

I need a vacay.

I already know that this school year is going to be annoying with JUST the sports kiddies back so I want to go away and relax before I have to deal with them.

But I know that won't happen.

The bosses are acting like chickens with their heads cut off...
Running around all stressed out getting ready for the school year.

At least all the cutie-patootie coaches and staff are dressed up today for staff photos.

A TAD of a plus on this looonnnnggg day.

10:08 a.m. - 2010-08-24

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See this movie!!!

Last night I saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
And I really dug it.

Let me just warn you though...

It's quite quirky and different.
I mean REALLY different.

But it's also sweet, funny and action-packed.
Plus it has Chris Evans in it.

Scrumptious.

And that's ALWAYS a bonus.

11:11 a.m. - 2010-08-23

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Definition of a writer? I hope not.

What makes a writer a writer?

Is it what they themselves read?
Or their interests?
Their family and friends?

I want to know.
Seriously.

Because everybody seems to have an opinion about what I should be reading or doing.
To pretty much be this stereotypical idea of a writer who reads Sartre while sitting in a cafe drinking gross coffee all day.

Booooriiiing.

I don't WANT to read pompous prose and literary works that people PRETEND to read.
I read for the pleasure of it, the chance to dive into someplace I've never been, to experience new stories.

I DON'T read to get ideas on what to write or HOW to write...

I don't plagiarize.

So please...
Stop telling me to be someone I'm not.

Because I'm super-duper awesome.

And you know it.

1:54 p.m. - 2010-08-20

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Thimpot. Snugglemize.

I want to talk gibberish today to see if people ask me if I've had a stroke.

Or if they ignore me and act like they know what I'm talking about.

Then again, talking gibberish I would probably have to repeat myself so much that it wouldn't be funny anymore and would eventually annoy the crap out of me.

Stupid people not getting when I'm kidding.

Gees.

12:11 p.m. - 2010-08-19

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Shove your jeggings up your ASS...oh they already ARE.

Uh-Oh.

It's almost time for another school year.

Another year of tights-as-pants and "jeggings"(which is a STUPID name by the way).

And I don't care WHAT they say...

This look does NOT look good on everyone.
Especially on some of the cheerleaders they have here.

Yikes.

11:17 a.m. - 2010-08-17

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Awwwwwww...

Sometimes I am SUCH a girl.

I saw this other week on CNN.
They asked if bigger felines, like leopards and tigers, loved catnip like their smaller domestic relatives.

And they do.

They showed this big leopard rolling around on the ground on a bunch of catnip.
It was so fricking adorable.
I just wanted to snuggle the big guy and rub his ears.

Sometimes I amaze even myself when I act like a chick.

11:26 a.m. - 2010-08-16

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Get in my belly!!!

I went too far.

The other day I stuffed myself with sushi and hibachi food so much that I developed a food baby.
All night long my food baby kept letting me know I over-did it by making me feel bloated and uncomfortable.
Well until I kept feeding it beer.
Then the baby was sated and stopped bothering me.
I'm just starting to feel normal.

Stupid delicious Japanese food.

4:28 p.m. - 2010-08-15

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A hero? I don't think so!

Listen UP!

Steve Slater is NOT a hero.

He's a whiny jackass.

People throw that word around too easily these days.

A hero doesn't go ballistic because a customer was rude to him then throw a temper tantrum by jumping out of a plane.
Boo-fucking-hoo.

A hero?
Definitely NOT.

I think people need to learn the TRUE meaning of the word before they label someone who truly doesn't deserve it.

I'll even help by GIVING you the definition.

Hero: �noun, plural -roes; for 5 also -ros.
1. A man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.
2. A person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.
3. The principal male character in a story, play, film, etc.
4. Classical Mythology: a. A being of godlike prowess and beneficence who often came to be honored as a divinity.
b.(In the Homeric period) A warrior-chieftain of special strength, courage, or ability.
c.(In later antiquity) An immortal being; demigod.
5. A sandwich.
6. The bread or roll used in making a hero sandwich.

Slater was definitely NOT any of these things so STOP USING THIS WORD WHEN DESCRIBING HIM!!!!!

It's insulting to true heroes when it's used improperly.

Jackasses.

1:44 p.m. - 2010-08-14

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Attack of The Gigantic, Icky, Killer Bugs

Ummm what is the DEAL with the bugs this summer!?

First the Cicadas.
They are EVERYWHERE!!!
I was stepping on their little carcuses yesterday morning.

And I use the word "little" a bit capriciously.

Then last night while I was playing cards the biggest horsefly I have EVER seen would not leave us alone!
So of course being girly, there were lots of screeching.

That is the first time in YEARS that I've seen one of those.

But the best had to be when we were leaving the bar and we were hanging outside waiting for the smokers.

One of my friends...

I can't even think of this without laughing.

One of my friends had a praying mantis land on his chin and dangle there like a stick.

Seriously.

And let me tell you that it was HUGE!!!
I don't remember them being so gigantic...
But age will do that to a person.

Thank GOD it landed on him and not of of us chickies.

Because I'm pretty sure that there would've LITERALLY been screams heard 'round the world.

Blech.

10:15 a.m. - 2010-08-12

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The Woman in Black

In the summer, I HATE my work uniform.
I wear black from head to toe.
Literally.
Oh, AND it's long-sleeved.
Ugh.

I've felt like a fat, sweaty female Johnny Cash this summer.
Especially in hot-as-balls weather like this.

Is it fall yet?
Crap.

6:52 p.m. - 2010-08-10

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Shop of Horrors!!!

There's this place in town that sells art supplies and craft junk.

And doll heads and other parts.

I remember thinking that they looked kinda scary hanging there in their bags...
Their glassy eyes all creepy and dead-looking.
Just staring at me.

The ones that REALLY creeped me out though were the bags that just had faces.

No heads.

What the...!?

WHAT kind of homemade doll would make THAT look normal?

I don't think I really want an answer to that question.

10:07 a.m. - 2010-08-09

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Whack-a-clown!

What is the effin' deal with clowns!?

Does ANYBODY find them funny with their stupid make-up and tricks?
Or are you like me and find them annoying?
Especially if they're in their stupid clown gear following you around.

And if you say they're funny then you're either five or KINDA slow.

Stupid clowns.

6:28 p.m. - 2010-08-08

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Viva Las Vegas!!!

I was channel surfing and saw Bridezillas was on and I came to this conclusion:

Weddings are ridiculous.

When did we decide that we HAD to spend thousands of dollars for BASICALLY a party?
Money that many couples could be spending on things for their future.

As young girls we are almost brainwashed into thinking that we HAVE to have this lavish reception...
That we deserve to be treated like a princess for ONE day.
But ONLY if we spend a fortune to get that feeling.

I say screw that.

But then again...
I really should worry about a date first before I'm ranting about the costs of weddings.

Just an idea.

7:15 p.m. - 2010-08-07

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An Act-Like-A-Grown-Up Day

Ahhhhhhhhh.

A day off.

A day off with great weather and nobody but me and the cat at home so I can do whatever I want WHENEVER I want.
Just putting things away and doing some chores at MY pace.
Which makes the unpacking and cleaning easier when it doesn't feel forced upon me.
Because then I just don't want to do it at ALL.

I can be stubborn like that.

True story.

1:52 p.m. - 2010-08-06

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Whoa. I need to slowly back away from the knives...

Geez Louise!!!

At work this morning I have already:

1. Dropped an entire container of pasta salad on the floor.
2. Came less than an inch from burning important lady parts off with scalding hot coffee.
3. Lost something I SWEAR was in my hand a minute ago.
4. Scared a couple of customers when they saw me sharpening a knife.(I must have had quite an expression on my face lol).
5. Almost fell asleep a moment ago standing up.

And it's only 11:15am.
I think I'm in trouble.

Yikes.

11:08 a.m. - 2010-08-05

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Guuurrl, you better WORK!!!

I'm going to be controversial now.

I think it's effin' GREAT that Judge Walker overruled Proposition 8 in California.

"Moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to deny rights to gay men and lesbians. The evidence shows conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason, a private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite-sex couples,".

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Now I'm not gay, but I see no harm in letting people who love each other get married...
EVERYBODY deserves to be happy.
Eve-ry-bod-y.

Whether ANYONE agrees with it or not.

Hopefully this will last and not be appealed by all those pompous, self-righteous a'holes.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

6:15 p.m. - 2010-08-04

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A Stalker's Early Years?

I envy fanatic fans.
Well, to an extent.
I don't want to pee my pants or anything.
I've never been SUCH a fan of something that I seem like a crazy person when someone brings it up.
Don't get me wrong: There are some things I LOVE but I don't want to rip an actor's clothes off or eat any musicians like some people SEEM to.
I have friends that are CRAZY for the Twilight books and act like teenagers when a new movie comes out.
One of them even talks about wanting to do things to the baby-faced Lautner...

She's in her late forties.

Just a TAD creepy.

9:23 a.m. - 2010-08-03

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Superfreak! Superfreak! She's super freaky awwww!

What the...!

I saw this morning on GMA that some people are raising monkeys.
SO not the weird part.
The weird part is that they call themselves "monkey moms" and the monkeys "monkids".

I am not kidding.

These people are dressing monkeys up as kids and treating them as such.
MONKEYS.
I absolutely HATE people who put ANY poor animal in clothing.
It's not natural.
Sometimes I don't want to wear clothes so I can only imagine an animal with FUR sure isn't digging it.

I think I hear the theme from Psycho the more I talk about this.

I am SO not going into a shower right now.

Weirdos.

10:21 a.m. - 2010-08-02

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Worst night EVER!

Ummmm...

There was the most hillbilly-ish wedding last night at work.
I have never seen SO many holey, dirty jeans and t-shirts at a wedding before in my LIFE.
There were even a few people wearing sweatpants and jogging pants.
What.
The.
FUCK!
Where's the respect for the newlyweds?
They give their friends and family free food and entertainment and these douches can't even put on a pair of pants and a nice shirt!?

Jackasses.

OH!

And let's not forget to mention the puking incident.
I was waiting for everyone to leave so I could leave. I went upstairs to the ballroom to make sure they were done and I could just smell the nastiness.
Well one of my friends finds this dude passed out ON THE STAIRS!!
I almost left him there because I went up the elevator instaed!!

Well said douche puked over the railing and down three flights of stairs all the way to the basement.
It was SO disgusting.
The wedding party DID start to clean it up though.
Well that is until the groom started convulsing on the floor.
A groom that had had TWO brain surgeries and has had seizures before.
And he was drinking Jager bombs.
Idiot.
So needless to say they all left leaving the rest of the puke for us to take care of.
Lovely.
Well my friend helped me clean it up because I was about ready to vomit myself.
And that would've just made more of a mess.
We better get some of that cleaning deposit.

Ugh.

5:59 p.m. - 2010-08-01

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